


At the End of the Day (I'm Still Me)

by TimmyJaybird



Series: Wish I Had An Angel [15]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Agender Character, Fluff, Gender Identity Discussion, Genderfluid Character, Interrupted Sex, M/M, expanding friendship, moments of ColiVanni, moments of DamiColi, moments of DamiVanni, self discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:06:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6604978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even the worst part of our best days can be good. And while Vanni had a near perfect day at the Gotham City fair with his family and best friends, even a brief, unpleasant encounter with the paparazzi can be helpful, in the long run. Especially when Vanni has Dick and Jason to go to, with questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the End of the Day (I'm Still Me)

**Author's Note:**

> The readers that also keep up with the little murder clone tag on Tumblr knew this day had to be coming.

“Okay, so everyone stick together,” Jason said, facing the three teenagers, hands resting on his hips. “I don’t wanna hunt around half this place if any of you get lost.”

 

“-tt- Todd we are not  _ children _ ,” Damian said, folding his arms, even as next to him, Colin grabbed onto Vanni’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

 

“Buddy system!” He announced, as Vanni started laughing, squeezing his hand back. “C’mon Dames, hold his hand.”

 

“ _ Wilkes _ ,” Damian huffed, with a roll of his eyes. Still, he reached down, grasping Vanni’s other hand- also giving it an affectionate squeeze. Vanni continued to smile, blushing a little, loving being the center of the boys’ attention.

 

Jason only smiled at them, before he opened his mouth to speak- and then paused, glancing around. “Now where the  _ hell _ did that man of mine go-”

 

“Grayson ran off while you were preparing to lecture us on  _ child level safety _ while in public. My guess is that he is already half way through some sort of food that will take years off his life.” Jason reached up, pinched the bridge of his nose, before he waved his hand.

 

“Alright, alright. Damian, you have your phone?” A nod. “Alright. You three go look around a bit, and I’ll find you as soon as I find Dick.” Another round of nods, and Jason gave the boys a final look, before turning, heading off into the crowds.

 

Vanni watched his dad disappear into the crowds, before trying to take in the sight before him. He hadn’t exactly known what his dad- Dick- had meant, when he said that morning  _ Gotham City Fair _ , but the giant masses of people and mingling of different scents- all smelling like something he wanted to eat- along with the harsh clashes of various music and  _ what he could only assume looked like strange vehicles _ -

 

Well, none of that was what he had expected. All he’d known was that he was going out with his dads and his friends, and  _ that _ was exciting enough.

 

“C’mon,” Colin said, taking charge and heading right into the crowds. He tugged at Vanni’s hand, who stumbled a step, nearly tripping over his own high-tops, before hurrying after- and in turn, tugged Damian, who followed quickly with a sullen look that Vanni didn’t exactly believe.

 

Vanni kept glancing about, not exactly sure where Colin was taking them, and not sure he cared. There were simply so many  _ people _ , and while that was a bit unnerving- he felt safe, between his friends. Behind him, he heard Damian piping up, “Colin, where are we  _ going _ ?”

 

“Anywhere!” He called back, stopping and grinning. Vanni bumped into him, as Damian let go of his hand, and chose to get both his arms around one of Colin’s, clinging contently. Colin’s tshirt left so many freckles on his arms exposed, and Vanni wanted to count them all. Had started to, in the backseat of his dads’ car, while he was between the two other boys. Colin had kept  _ smiling _ while he touched them, and it made Vanni’s belly feel all light.

 

Damian shook his head, glancing about them, still seeming  _ uninterested _ . “This was a ridiculous idea.”

 

“You’re no fun,” Colin said, placing his free hand on his hip. “Loosen up a bit ‘lil prince, what’s not to love? Food, games,  _ rides _ .”

 

Damian shook his head, and Vanni leaned heavier against Colin. “Is that what those are?” He asked, pointing towards a contraption that looked like giant teacups, spinning slowly.

 

“Yup,” Colin said. “In fact, that’s probably a good starting point. Lemme go get us some tickets.” He pulled away from Vanni, digging into his pocket, only to have a hand come to settle on his shoulder- a matching on Vanni’s- and then Dick was leaning in between them, grinning.

 

“We starting with rides?” He asked, rather excited, as behind him, Damian and Jason wore similar expressions of annoyance. Not that it even reached their eyes. Vanni nodded, and Dick freed his hands from their shoulders, digging into his pocket and pulling out tickets, shooting Colin a look. “Don’t even think about it kiddo. You’re with us today, we’ve got this covered.”

 

Colin glanced down, tugging his hand from his pocket to reach up, rub the back of his neck. “Thanks,” he offered, and Vanni wasn’t entirely sure why he looked almost  _ embarrassed _ .

 

Dick tore off three tickets, handing them to Colin, before he gave Vanni a gentle, affectionate push. “Go get in line, Jason and I will wait right here for you guys.”

 

Jason nodded, as next to him Damian moved up towards the other two, taking Vanni by the arm and guiding him, as Colin led the charge. Vanni peered around the people in line, looking at the brightly colored cups. He bounced on his feet, watching them move around, some spinning, before the ride came to a stop, and there was a pause while the current riders disembarked-

 

And then the line was moving. Colin handed the three tickets to the man, who opened the gate, let them step through. “Pick one,” Colin said, smiling at Vanni, who pointed to a pretty teal one. Close enough to jade that it made him think of Damian’s eyes. Colin headed right for it, holding the little door open, and Vanni climbed up, sliding onto the little curve bench, followed by Damian. Colin hopped up last, slid in on Vanni’s other side and tugged the door shut.

 

“What do we do?” Vanni asked, looking at the strange circular handle in the center of the table. Colin reached out, grasped it with both his hands and cracked a playful grin, as someone walked around, double checking that the doors were shut.

 

“You sit back and enjoy. It’s gonna move in-” Colin paused when the strange, campy music picked up, and the gears to the ride kicked back to life. “ _ Now _ .” The cups began to move, carried around in small circles, and Vanni glanced around- grasped at Damian’s arm as he exclaimed, eyes going wide,

 

“We’re moving!”

 

“Yup,” Colin said, as Damian folded his arms, looked rather unamused. “Wanna move even  _ more _ ?” Vanni looked at him, nodded and Colin suddenly turned the handle, moving it and causing their cup to spin. Vanni squealed, let go of Damian and  _ clapped _ , which had Colin spinning it faster. Damian gave a groan, dropped his head back and closed his eyes, as Vanni grasped the handle too, adding his own strength to Colin’s to keep it spinning. “C’mon Dames, give us a hand!”

 

Damian didn’t move for a moment, before he lurched forward, grabbed the handle with both his hands and pulled in the opposite direction, trying to cease the movement. “If you do not stop,” Damian said, “I am going to be  _ sick _ .”

 

Colin instantly pulled his hands back, and Vanni fumbled a little, falling forward and crashing into the redhead’s shoulder. Damian slumped down over it, buried his face in his hands, and Vanni frowned. “What’s wrong?” he asked, confused, as Colin helped him sit back up.

 

“Some people can’t handle when things spin,” Colin said, twirling his finger, “makes ‘em nauseous. Apparently, that’s our little prince.”

 

Vanni shuffled back over, got his hand on Damian’s back and rubbed along his spine, gently. “Dami?” he asked, and Damian lifted his head slightly.

 

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, “so long as we simply continue at this pace.” Colin nodded, leaning his elbows on the center and propping his chin on his palms.

 

“You got it babe.” Damian shot him a glare, and Colin winked, as Vanni got his arm around Damian, snuggled up to him in the comforting way he knew his dads would have curled up around him, if he didn’t feel well. He felt Damian relaxing, and before the ride was over, Damian managed to sit up properly, color returning to his cheeks.

 

*

 

“Does it spin?” Damian asked, as Dick pointed to another ride, sometime later. Behind them, Vanni was making quick work of his  _ second _ snowcone in possibly ten minutes, and Colin was watching in awe, as if he couldn’t believe the kid didn’t have a headache yet.

 

“I think so-”

 

“ _ Absolutely. Not. _ ” Damian turned abruptly away, and Dick glanced between he and the ride, before he shrugged a shoulder. Damian headed right back for the other two teens, watched as Vanni held out his snow cone and let Colin attempt to get some of the blue colored ice into his mouth-  _ laughed  _ when Colin had to reach up when it snagged on his lip and some dribbled down his chin.

 

He paused, just  _ watched _ the two for a moment, feeling that crackling warmth in his belly he’d been getting lately, around them. As if it was just his body’s  _ instinct _ now.

 

“Dames,” Colin said, turning and wiping his chin, “You want something to eat? Vanni is about to eat everything in sight.”

 

Vanni shrugged his shoulder, grinned, and held his snow cone out towards Damian, as well. Damian leaned in, got a chunk between his teeth- ignored the shock of cold, and maybe the sickly sweet syrup that flavored it wasn’t  _ bad _ .

 

Okay, it was good.  _ Really, really good _ .

 

“You guys going on another ride?” Jason asked, walking over hold a little bag of popcorn. Damian shook his head, rather clear on the idea that he did  _ not _ want to be subjected to that again. He was going to reiterate that point, but Dick came bustling past them, announcing he was off to get  _ fried Oreos _ \- which sounded like a death wish- and Jason was suddenly huffing, yelling after him, “Dick! Hold on a second! How many are you planning on eating?”

 

He was long gone.

 

“Dammit Grayson!” Jason turned, hurrying after his boyfriend, still shouting, “When you have a heart attack I’m not even going to be sad!”

 

Vanni watched, looking back at his friends, confused, and Colin slung his arm around his shoulders. “Your dad doesn’t mean it,” he said, “He’d be very sad. And Dick’s not gonna eat himself into a coma or anything.”

 

“-tt- You do not know Grayson.” Damian folded his arms, watched Vanni pop the last of the flavored ice into his mouth, leaving his tongue stained  _ purple _ from the mix of the blue dye, and the red dye from his  _ first _ snow cone. Colin seemed to notice too, because he was laughing, pulling his phone out.

 

“Stick your tongue out princess, you’re gonna love this.” Vanni did, putting his hands on his hips as he did so, and as Colin snapped the picture, Damian, for a moment, couldn’t believe that was the same kid who had first shown up at the Manor. Who had damn near tackled him to the floor.

 

Wasn’t even the same kid who had  _ eviscerated _ a man before his eyes.

 

“See, you’re purple!” Colin exclaimed, turning his phone around. Vanni laughed.

 

“Do I taste like a snow cone?” he asked, which had Colin blushing, reaching up to rub the back of his neck and stammering out  _ Uh, I don’t- _ before Vanni added, hands still on his hips and looking, for a moment, like he damn near ruled the world, “Wanna find out?”

 

Definitely  _ not _ the same kid at all.

 

Colin’s face stayed red, and Damian snorted, reaching up to cover his mouth, as Vanni glanced at him- the kind that asked him the  _ same damn question _ .

 

“I’d love to,” Colin finally managed, looking around, “But, maybe not right now.” He jerked his head, and Damian followed the motion- noticed the camera, and felt his stomach twisting up. Of  _ course _ there’d have to be paparazzi- wasn’t there always?

 

In his life, that was a resounding  _ yes _ .

 

“What?” Vanni asked, looking over, confused. Colin stood up straight, putting himself between both boys and the camera, in the hopes that they’d go unnoticed.

 

“They’re always out,” Damian said, more than happy to try and shrink down, behind Colin’s shadow. “This city seems to have nothing better to do than to document our lives and comment upon them.” Vanni still looked confused, but before he could voice or sign a question, there was the loud  _ click _ of a camera shutter, and a shouted,  _ Damian, over here! _

 

Damian cringed, and Colin turned, trying to guide them both away as the man- oh, gods, make that  _ and woman _ , bustled over.

 

“Damian is your father here?” Damian gritted his teeth, didn’t say anything, and Vanni peered around him-

 

Which was a  _ grave _ mistake.

 

There was a quick, “That’s the Grayson kid!” and another round of shutters going. “Giovanni!” next, and Vanni made a face at hearing his  _ full _ name, getting the flare of a flash right in his dark eyes and  _ hating _ it. He grabbed at Damian’s arm, as Colin still tried to get his body between them, working as a human shield as they tried to walk away, with no destination other than getting  _ away _ from this.

 

“Leave ‘em alone,” Colin yelled back, “If you want a picture hang out around Wayne Enterprises or somethin’.”

 

He went completely ignored, as Damian knew he would. The only time the media was interested in his friend was when they were speculating about their  _ relationship _ .

 

“Vanni, can you tell us what it’s like living with Dick Grayson?” Vanni opened his mouth, but Damian squeezed his arm.

 

“Don’t answer them,” he said, shaking his head. “It won’t deter them.”

 

“Vanni, can you tell us about how you’re dressing-” The question cut off when Damian suddenly lifted one hand, flipping them all off.

 

“Fuck off,” he growled, as Vanni asked, the question disappearing beneath the sounds of the crowds,

 

“Is something wrong with my clothes?”

 

“Giovanni, do you want to be a girl?”

 

Colin suddenly shoved them both through the crowd, hanging back, and Damian caught his eyes for a moment. His friend nodded, and Damian grabbed Vanni by the arm, nearly dragging him through the crowds. They cut between two booths, coming out along the back, and Damian continued to drag him, dodging people until they were pausing next to a large booth, the sound effects from a game ringing out.

 

Damian paused, glancing around- and relaxed, when it seemed they were clear. He glanced over at Vanni, let go of his arm, and watched him rub his wrist, frowning. “Sorry,” Damian said, “Did I hurt you?”

 

“I’m okay.”

 

His frown deepened. “That wasn’t the question.” He swiped a hand back through his hair. “I did not mean to. I simply wanted to get us out of there. The media are… insufferable.”

 

Vanni nodded, crossing his arms, effectively hugging himself,  _ guarded _ . Damian was fairly sure he hadn’t liked it, either. He couldn’t fathom how some people were so  _ good _ with them.

 

Damian shoved his hands into his pockets, caught sight of Colin ducking around groups of people, hurrying towards them. “Boy were they pissed with me,” Colin said with a laugh. “They’ll probably be looking for us for a bit. But hopefully we threw them.”

 

“Thank you,” Damian said, as his best friend threw an arm around his shoulders, squeezing.

 

“Anything for you, Dames.” He winked, and Damian felt heat rising to his cheeks, looked down at the ground in the hopes of suppressing it-

 

“Is there something wrong with my clothes?”

 

Damian and Colin both turned towards Vanni, who had his head tipped down, was looking up through thick, dark lashes. His hands were fisting in the fabric of his soft tshirt dress, scrunching it up slowly. “What?” Damian asked.

 

“My clothes.” He sucked on his lip, before he let go of his dress, his hands moving far too quickly for Damian to keep up with. As it was, no one knew he was even  _ trying _ to learn sign language-

 

Except Cassandra, and those warm afternoons sitting on her bed, where she  _ tried _ to teach him.

 

But this was  _ way _ too much, and Damian had honestly  _ no idea _ what Vanni was signing.

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Colin said, lifting his hands, looking like he wanted to reach out and touch Vanni, but knowing better. “Vanni, I’m sorry princess, we can’t… understand.” Colin looked a little  _ ashamed _ that he couldn’t- and it was something Damian understood.

 

There was a pressure for Vanni to learn to communicate to them and the world in ways  _ they _ understood- which he did quite well, far better than anyone could have expected by this point- but yet it felt like there wasn’t enough of a push for  _ them _ to try and learn to communicate with him in a way that would be most comfortable for  _ him _ .

 

Vanni simply pointed to himself, swallowed, and in a voice that had a familiar squeak to it, asked, “Weird?”

 

The fact that he was obviously fighting to not go completely nonverbal made Damian’s ribs come crashing in and  _ ache _ . Colin’s eyes made it look like he felt that, too.

 

“You’re not weird,” Colin said, “Why would you think that?”

 

“Clothes.”

 

“Your clothes are adorable,” Colin said, “Did they say something about your clothes? I could barely hear, I wasn’t paying attention.”

 

“I believe they did,” Damian said, trying to piece together the rush of the past couple minutes, the shouted questions. “They asked if he could explain his clothing choice.”

 

Colin glanced between Damian and Vanni, before he moved towards the youngest. He dropped down onto the dusty ground right in front of Vanni, so he could look up at him, get into his sight as he kept his head tipped down. “You don’t have to explain why you dress the way ya do to anyone,” Colin said, craning his neck. “You don’t have’ta explain  _ anything _ to  _ anyone _ . Okay?”

 

Vanni shrugged a shoulder. Colin sighed, reached his hand up, left it hovering by one of Vanni’s.

 

“Can I touch you?”

 

Vanni nodded, and Colin took one of his hands, pried it from his dress and closed it in both of his. He rubbed his thumbs over his knuckles.

 

“Some people think they  _ deserve _ an explanation and a reasoning behind everything the rest of us do. Basically, they feel like if we’re different, why have to give them reasons  _ why _ . And guess what? We don’t. We don’t owe them shit.” Damian watched as Colin squeezed Vanni’s hand, dared to take a step closer. “You wearing a dress is  _ a-okay _ . Hell, if I had the legs for it, maybe  _ I _ would.”

 

Vanni cracked a little smile at that, a subtle curve to his lips, and when Colin winked he  _ giggled _ .

 

“Don’t let them get inside your head,” Damian offered, still watching from behind Colin. “Sadly they do not go away. We live in a city where  _ we _ are considered entertainment.” Colin stood up, nodding.

 

“The paparazzi can be assholes. They don’t really  _ think _ before they question. Some of ‘em, anyway. But you’re perfect, so don’t pay them no mind.” Vanni had lifted his head, was looking up at Colin now- and before anyone else could move, he was pulling his hand back from Colin’s, reaching up and winding his arms around the taller boy’s neck. He leaned up on his toes, pressed his mouth to Colin’s, leaned right  _ into _ him so that Colin nearly stumbled, taken aback by the sudden kiss.

 

Damian’s eyes went a little wide, and out of instinct he glanced around, making sure the paparazzi weren’t about to jump back out on them. The last thing they needed was to deal with  _ this _ , as well. 

 

It was one of the many reasons he worked so hard to make sure, if he was in  _ public _ with his friend, they seemed like simply that.  _ Friends _ . Nothing more.

 

Even if-

 

“Careful,” Colin managed, when Vanni pulled back for a second, the redhead’s hands going to Vanni’s waist to steady him. “You’re gonna knock us both over.” Vanni just smiled bigger, kissed him again- and Damian, moving around to face them bigger, could see the curve to Colin’s lips.

 

He kicked the toe of his sneaker at the dirt, stuffed his hands into his pockets- and didn’t exactly know what to do with himself, for that moment. Wasn’t sure if he was  _ happy _ because they were both smiling, he could hear Vanni giggling against Colin’s mouth- or if he wished it was  _ him _ .

 

In which position, he honestly didn’t know.

 

“C’mere Dames,” Colin said, breaking the kiss to turn his head. He reached out, kept one arm locked around Vanni’s waist now. He grasped Damian’s wrist, tugged him in, and after a stumbling step there was his mouth, warm and  _ affectionate _ in all these ways Damian knew-

 

In the secret places, between his ribs.

 

He pushed at Colin gently, broke the kiss with a  _ Wilkes! _ Because they were in  _ plain sight _ , and Colin offered him that charming, lazy smile that was  _ divine _ .

 

“Didn’t want you to feel left out,” he said, and Damian glanced away, only to have Vanni letting go of Colin, to wrap his arms around him now, snuggle into his chest.

 

“Thank you,” he said, very softly, “For getting us away from them.”

 

Damian only nodded, reaching up to stroke Vanni’s hair, careful not to disturb his braid.

 

“How about we go back to having  _ fun _ ?” Colin asked, jerking his head towards the booth they were standing next to. “And play a game.”

 

Vanni perked up at that, looking at the large, strangely shaped water guns along the booth, before glancing up at the wall of stuffed animals behind the targets. His dark eyes went  _ huge _ , and Damian flashed a grin, catching Colin’s stare- who nodded.

 

“We’re winning you somethin’ cute,” Colin announced, pulling Vanni off of Damian so he could head towards one of the stools, hooked to the counter. “Or, more specifically,  _ Damian _ is winning you something and I’m going to be his little cheerleader.”

 

“I won’t be able to focus with you chattering in my ear,” Damian retorted, handing a few dollars to the man behind the counter, who  _ clicked _ his station on.

 

“Like you even need to focus,” Colin said, leaning in and whispering right into his ear, “ _ Robin _ .” Damian shivered, knew he liked the feeling of Colin's’ warm breath  _ way _ too much-

 

And those weren’t thoughts, for that moment.

 

He grasped the handles on the gun, lining up his sight as someone sat down next to him. Behind him, Colin had an arm around Vanni’s waist, who was watching with entrapped eyes.

 

This entire experience was  _ new _ , for him.

 

When the bell went off and the guns finally produced water, Damian was  _ spot on _ , as he knew he would be. His aim was  _ impeccable _ , and maybe it was cheating a bit, his background  _ considered _ \- but he didn’t care.

 

Maybe it was cliche, but the thought of  _ winning _ something for Vanni made his heart do a damn  _ summersault _ .

 

His target began flashing as another bell went off- the sound nearly making him wince- and around him the rest of the crowd gave their little disappointed huffs at losing. He leaned back, let himself smile  _ smug _ , as he glanced at Vanni.

 

“What do you want?”

 

Vanni sucked on his lip for a moment, before pointing, and the man behind the counter grabbed one of the teddy bears he’d pointed to. It was a pretty teal-  _ jade? _ \- and had a little crown sewn on, by one ear. Damian took it, hopping out of his seat and handing it to Vanni, who promptly crushed it against his chest in a tight hug, looking far more relaxed now that they had all distracted themselves from the drama the paparazzi had nearly created.

 

“Why that one?” Damian asked, as Vanni held it out, studying the bear’s face.

 

“He matches your eyes,” Vanni said, his voice still somewhat quiet, not quite at the  _ sturdy _ level it had been before, but the fact that he was  _ speaking _ was a good sign. Damian felt his cheeks going red, hot, and Colin started  _ laughing _ .

 

“Oh my god,” he said, shaking his head, “ _ get married _ already.” Damian reached out, punched his friend in the arm, while Vanni  _ laughed _ at both of them, holding the bear back to his chest. “It’s even got a crown like  _ you _ should, ‘lil prince!”

 

“Wilkes I am going to  _ end you _ ,” Damian said, getting his arm locked around Colin’s shoulders from behind, trying to put him into a headlock. Colin only laughed harder, nearly stumbling back a step, throwing Damian off balance-

 

Who was caught suddenly by a familiar set of hands. “Woah, careful guys. We didn’t come here for sparring practice.” Damian glanced up and back, and there was Dick, smiling at him. Jason was moving past him, towards the other two. Damian straightened up, and Dick leaned his arm along his shoulders, settling his weight against him, eyeing Vanni. “Where’d that come from?”

 

“I… won it for him,” Damian admitted, as Vanni held the bear up proudly towards Jason, to show it off.

 

“Really?” Dick glanced over at Damian, who wanted to pretend the heat he felt in his cheeks was from the summer sun, and not  _ anything else _ . He nodded, and Dick straightened up, ruffled Damian’s hair affectionately. “You’re alright kiddo,” he teased, before he moved past him, towards the rest of the group.

 

“-tt-” Damian folded his arms- but couldn’t keep the little smile from curling along his lips.

 

*

 

“So it doesn’t spin?” Vanni asked, as he was herded towards the gates of the ferris wheel. Jason  _ snorted _ over that, while Damian frowned, his glare threatening that he’d  _ boycott _ this final ride, if he was teased again.

 

“Nope,” was all Jason said, as the kids climbed into their own cart, and the door was shut, before it began moving again. Vanni leaned against the edge, sticking his head out and watching his dads climb in behind them.

 

“Careful,” Colin said, “hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.” He leaned back, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, seeming to enjoy the light summer breeze picking up. The sun was lowering, threatened to set soon, as the ferris wheel carried them higher. Vanni shifted, smiling as he got a nice view of the entire fair, and out, towards the city.

 

It reminded him of nights that seemed like lifetimes ago. Of perching on rooftops and watching a city that refused to sleep. The  _ good _ parts of what he had done.

 

“It’s nice up here,” Colin said, cracking his eyes open. “I think I see why you guys are always on rooftops.” Damian rolled his eyes, as Vanni set his teddy bear down, grasping the side of their cart and leaning further out, feeling the breeze. “Careful!” Colin said, as Damian hooked an arm around Vanni’s waist, steadying him and keeping him from getting damn near half his body out of the cart.

 

“I won’t fall,” he said, glancing back at them. “I don’t fall.”

 

It was  _ true _ . He’d been  _ bred _ to fly not fall. He knew that. He knew enough of the gray son’s- of Dick’s, of his  _ dad’s _ past, to know that. He didn’t fall. He simply  _ didn’t _ .

 

Not in this sense, at least.

 

Still, Damian kept an arm hooked around him, and Vanni didn’t mind it. Even when Colin slid along the bench closer, as leaning out slightly next to him-

 

It was comforting, to have them so close. Peaceful, when no one said a word, and they simply enjoyed the view, the silent companionship. Made Vanni feel like all those years of solitude, of being locked away like someone’s failed fighting dog, were just a thing of bad dreams.

 

They happened, they couldn’t disappear- but in the light of day,  _ he could forget them _ .

 

*

 

“I don’t feel good,” Vanni mumbled, flopping out along the backseat of the car and pressing his teddy bear into his face. He  _ had _ been sitting between Colin and Damian, but now he was sprawled out on their laps, legs thrown over Damian’s and head and shoulders in Colin’s.

 

“You ate just about everything in sight,” Jason said, from the front seat, as Dick pulled out into traffic. “I’d feel sick too little wing.”

 

Vanni groaned, his stomach aching, and shifted, trying to roll onto his side. The process was a bit of a disaster in the cramped back seat, and Colin had to hold onto him to keep him from falling off their laps. Vanni lifted his hips, causing his dress to slid along his tight-clad thigh- and suddenly Damian was grabbing it, tugging it back down.

 

“Vanni your dress!” he exclaimed, even though Vanni didn’t exactly care. From up front,  _ both _ his dads were laughing.

 

“Sit up kiddo,” Dick said, “It’ll be easier.” Vanni grunted, pushing himself up and listening to his dad, sitting back between his friends, as Jason added,

 

“And keep the breath of god between you guys.”

 

That got a  _ loud _ round of laughter, with Colin managing out, “You sound like Sister Agnes!” Jason only rolled his eyes, turning and glancing back at the kids, as Vanni dropped his head onto Damian’s shoulder. One of his arms was stretched out slightly, clasping at one of Colin’s hands rather tightly, and he looked  _ content _ , in that moment.

 

“Did you guys have a good time?” Dick asked, as Jason settled back in his seat. The  _ despite the paparazzi _ bit was left out- as Damian had caught them up about the little  _ almost mishap _ .

 

“Of course!” Colin said, very loudly, with Damian chiming in,  _ it was a decent trip _ . Vanni said nothing at first, simply smiling to himself as Colin absentmindedly stroked his knuckles. He clutched his bear tighter with his other hand, rubbing his cheek against Damian’s shoulder.

 

“Yes,” he finally said. He had nothing at all in his life to comapre this day to, no experience that had ever been  _ similar _ \- but he thought, as far as days go, this was up there was maybe one of the better ones.

 

_ Definitely one of the better ones _ .

 

*

 

Vanni hesitated, at the opening to the living room, peeking around it, finding both Dick and Jason on the couch. Jason had his arm up over the edge, and Dick was curled into him, idly flipping through the channels. He’d expected one of them to go out that night, after they had dropped Damian and Colin off at the Manor- where, Vanni could admit, he was a little sad he wasn’t sleeping- and made it back to Blüdhaven. However, neither had- and they’d both even offered to tuck him in, Jason offering to read and Dick asking if he wanted a recounting of another story his mother used to tell him.

 

He hadn’t wanted either. Once they’d gotten home and the magic of the day had started to fade, Vanni had started  _ thinking _ . Had curled up around Hamlet and his still unnamed bear with his cheek pressed to his pillow, thinking back to what the man and woman had yelled at him, at the fair.

 

He’d laid there until he couldn’t take it, and that was how he found himself, hovering, watching his dads before he gently knocked on the wall, not trusting his voice to work quite yet. Jason glanced over.

 

“Hey little wing,” he offered, as Dick sat up. “What are you doing up? Can’t sleep?” Vanni shook his head, and Jason motioned him over, as Dick slid down the couch slightly, created room between them. Vanni squirmed right into it, pressed tight between them, leaning against Jason’s side. “What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?” He glanced at Dick as he asked that, looking  _ concerned _ , but Vanni shook his head again.

 

The silence that fell for a minute was  _ relief _ .

 

“So what’s up?” Dick now, pulling one leg up and digging his foot into the edge of the couch. Vanni reached down, tugged at his tank top, wringing the hem of it between his hands as he tried to find the words-

 

And when he felt the wouldn’t come, he let go of his shirt and signed  _ am I weird? _

 

Dick and Jason took a moment to decipher his signing, before Jason said, “Weird? Was that the last bit?” Vanni nodded. “Baby you’re not weird. Where did you get that idea?”

 

_ My clothes _ .

 

“Your clothes are adorable- even more so because you wear them,” Dick said, and Vanni shook his head.

 

_ Someone asked why I dressed like this _ .

 

Another exchange of glances. “Was it one of the people with a camera?” Vanni nodded. Jason sighed. “Vanni, they’re  _ inconsiderate _ a lot of the time. You can dress however you want.”

 

_ Colin said that _ . Vanni paused- then,  _ one of them asked if I wanted to be a girl _ . “Why?” he managed to get out, and Dick and Jason exchanged  _ another  _ glance.

 

“Well… what you like to wear,” Jason started, “is clothing that girls typically wear.”

 

_ Tim wears it too. _

 

“Timmy is…” Dick paused, and Jason picked up,

 

“Vanni, honey, Tim is… he’s what they call  _ genderfluid _ . That means he’s not  _ one _ gender. He moves between multiple identities.”

 

_ But what is the difference _ ?

 

“Between… what?”

 

Vanni sucked on his lip. “Girl. Boy. Why are they  _ different _ ?” His voice came as a squeak, and he blushed a little over it, taking a breath to steady himself. “Is it-”

 

“It’s  _ not _ about your anatomy,” Jason said suddenly. “That doesn’t have  _ anything _ to do with your gender.” Vanni nodded. “It’s a mental thing. Gender’s something  _ society _ constructed-”

 

“Careful Jay,” Dick said, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder, “kid doesn’t need a rant against society- even if I agree with you.”

 

Jason paused, and Vanni looked up at him. “Sorry. But what I’m saying is- you can be a boy, or a girl,  _ or something else _ .” Vanni looked up at him expectantly, and Jason curled his arm around him, almost protectively. “If you want to be a girl, Vanni, that’s okay. You  _ are _ if that’s what you say you are. It’s called being transgender.”

 

“Others?” Vanni managed, hung up on the idea that there was  _ more _ , as he reached up, squeezed Jason’s arm.

 

“Yeah. You can feel like you’re  _ partially _ a boy or girl. Or like you’re  _ both _ , at once. Or like Tim, and you fluctuate between  _ any _ of the identities. You can even feel like you don’t have a gender at all.”

 

“And your clothes don’t have to tell us anything about your gender,” Dick added, “that’s just… it’s this stupid idea people cling to. That girls wear one thing, and boys wear another. Which is a sin, because frankly I look  _ stellar _ in heels.” He grinned, and Jason snorted, rolling his eyes as Vanni squirmed a bit more, mulling over their words.

 

He’d never seen much difference between either term before-  _ boy _ or  _ girl _ . What he had perceived as each were treated exactly the same at the Court, to the point that the idea of a difference or even a need for distinction was  _ confusing _ .

 

“Hey, kiddo,” Dick whispered, and Vanni pulled his eyes to his dad. “It’s a lot to take in, I know. You’ve been learning so much I bet your head hurts.” He reached out, brushed some of Vanni’s loose hair out of his face. “So it’s okay if you don’t have an answer- but, do you want to be a girl?”

 

Vanni sucked on his lip, before he shrugged a shoulder… because he didn’t  _ know _ . Not in that moment, not with all these ideas floating in his head now- words for things he didn’t know needed description.

 

“Okay,” Dick said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “And that’s okay. You’re allowed to take as much time as you need to figure it out.”

 

“And you can ask us anything you need to,” Jason said, kissing the top of his head. “We love you, and we want you to be happy with who you are.”

 

Vanni nodded, slowly, before he turned, wrapped his arms around Jason’s neck and hugged him. Jason hugged him back, before he squirmed free, hugged Dick, and then slid off the couch.

 

“You can stay out here,” Dick offered, but Vanni shook his head. He wanted to  _ think _ about this. Wanted the comfort of his bed and the darkness and quiet of his room. Wanted it to be just  _ him _ . His dads nodded, and he turned, made his way quickly, back to his bed. He climbed back up, tugging the blanket up to his chin and squirming until he was partially cocooned, despite the heat, knitting his fingers together in the depths of the blanket.

 

Boy. Girl.  _ Both _ . Shifting.  _ Nothing _ . Anything he felt, in the recess of his mind and heart. Anything that felt  _ right _ .

 

He fell asleep, mulling over the differences and trying to piece together a word that fit for  _ who he was _ .

 

*

 

When Dick woke up- it was shockingly to a quiet penthouse. Wasn’t to Vanni hopping up on the bed, or Jason in the kitchen already. There wasn’t some musical movie on the television in the background-

 

There was silence, but somehow he knew the house wasn’t  _ sleeping _ .

 

“You’re awake,” Dick mumbled into the early morning, glancing up through his lashes, at Jason. His boyfriend was on his back, eyes shut- but one cracked open, upon hearing Dick’s voice. Dick smiled softly, reaching out to rest his hand on Jason’s chest. “Faking sleep?”

 

“Didn’t want to wake you.”

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Not even seven.” Dick groaned, pulled himself closer to Jason until he nestled into his chest, got an arm around his shoulders.

 

“Why are you up then?”

 

Jason squeezed. “Thinking about  _ our kid _ ,” he admitted. “Did I fuck up, last night? Do you think I explained everything alright?”

 

“You were fine,” Dick said, snuggling into his heat. “It’s a  _ lot _ to think about. And… I mean, everything we’ve read and  _ seen _ from the data we stole from the Court, it makes sense that he doesn’t really… have the concept of gender that we do. Didn’t seem like there was much, if any, distinction among the talons. Which isn’t a bad thing, honestly.” Dick glanced up. “You can’t flood him with a torrent of knowledge, it’d be overwhelming. You gave him enough to think about.”

 

Jason nodded, and Dick pulled himself up, kissed his neck gently. 

 

“You know, Bruce is supposed to call me today,” Dick said, as he began tracing lazy patterns in Jason’s chest. “Which means we have to lay  _ more _ on Vanni.”

 

“I think he might be  _ excited _ about the prospect of learning,” Jason said, tipping his head back, giving a little sigh as Dick kissed his throat again. “Different from realizing you might be going through an identity crisis.”

 

“Guess you’re right.” Another kiss, and Jason curled his hand along Dick’s shoulder.

 

“You trying to start something,  _ wonder boy _ ?” Dick grinned, lifting his head up.

 

“I mean… if you’re  _ offering _ .” Jason huffed- and Dick assumed he was getting brushed off- before Jason suddenly rolled over, pinning him down and nuzzling into his neck, sucking at his pulse. The suddenness of it had Dick gasping, arching right up into Jason, who pressed one hand flat to the bed, let his weight bare mostly down on Dick. It was  _ pleasant _ to be thoroughly pinned, he could admit.

 

“Maybe I am,” Jason mused, nibbling up to Dick’s jaw. “It’s early even for Vanni. But you’ve gotta keep that big mouth of your’s  _ quiet _ , Dickie.” Dick laughed.

 

“What are you even-” Dick started, as Jason slid down his body- and never finished the thought, as Jason curled his fingers in the waistband of his underwear and gave them a tug, before the heat of his mouth had Dick forgetting his words entirely. “ _ Jesus fuck _ ,” he gasped, hips pushing up, and he could  _ feel _ Jason chuckling, tongue working to get him hard.

 

Dick tossed his head back, squeezed his eyes shut, let himself dissolve into little breaths and words, Jason’s name and curses as his hands clutched at the sheets. It drowned out everything else- that and the little noises  _ Jason _ made in response, like he was enjoying himself just as much as Dick was-

 

And that was why, when the bedroom door suddenly swung open, Dick hadn’t  _ heard a damn thing before it _ . He tensed, pushing himself up on his elbows, found Vanni hanging in the doorway, eyes big and  _ excited _ and mouth open like he was going to speak-

 

Dick grabbed the blanket, tossing it over Jason and  _ holding  _ it down over his head as he sat up properly. “Vanni!” he said, his voice  _ cracking _ . “Kiddo, what-”

 

“Are you,” Vanni said, squinting a little. Dick felt Jason shifting, pushing, and out of instinct held the blanket  _ tighter _ . “What is dad doing?”

 

“No-thing,” Dick managed, before Jason finally pushed himself up, forcing the blanket back and  _ yelling _ ,

 

“God _ damn _ Grayson are you trying to fucking  _ strangle _ me?” he growled, looking up at him, his cheeks rosy. Dick swallowed, glanced from Jason, back to Vanni, then down to his boyfriend again-

 

“It’s okay,” Vanni finally said, “You said sex was good. I’ll just wait.” He straightened up, folded his arms and nodded, and that had  _ both  _ Dick and Jason turning their heads to stare at him.

 

“That’s not,” Dick started, shaking his head, “kiddo that’s not how it works.”

 

“It’s private for us,” Jason said. Vanni shrugged a shoulder, before he signed  _ living room _ , and turned, walking out and tugging their door shut. Dick flopped back onto his back, dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.

 

“That didn’t just happen,” he muttered.

 

“All things considered, that wasn’t a  _ bad _ reaction,” Jason mused. “But you  _ did _ try to kill me.”

 

“ _ I was trying to make sure he didn’t see anything _ ! I don’t want to scar our kid!”

 

Jason rolled his eyes, before he dropped back down- and suddenly Dick was gasping, eyes going wide, Jason’s mouth  _ right back _ at work.

 

“Jay-  _ Jason _ , what are you-”

 

“Finishing what I started,” he said, pulling off and glancing up. “Just make it quick, pretty boy.” He dropped back down, before Dick could even answer-

 

And okay, he wasn’t going to argue this one bit.

 

*

 

“Little wing,” Jason said, from the kitchen, as he poured his coffee. He didn’t get a response, and sighed, picking up the mug and heading for the opening between the kitchen and the living room, leaning against the doorway. “Hey,  _ Vanni _ .”

 

Vanni glanced up from what he was watching on television, looking back at Jason.

 

“Are you okay, with… what you walked in on?”

 

Vanni shrugged a shoulder, turning back to the television. “You said… sex can be good,” he said, and even if he wasn’t entirely  _ sure _ about that yet- he trusted Jason. Trusted Dick. Trusted they weren’t  _ hurting _ each other. “I believe you.”

 

Jason circled the couch, dropped down next to him and took a sip of his coffee. “Okay,” he said. “That’s why we knock, though. That way we don’t  _ interrupt _ anything. That's Why Dick and I don’t just walk into your room.”

 

Vanni pulled his legs up, curled his arms around him. “But I’m  _ alone _ .”

 

Jason swallowed thickly. This  _ wasn’t _ how he had expected to spend his morning. “Well, yes. But remember what we talked about… you uh… you can…” Jason sighed, and had a momentary wonder about how  _ any _ parent talked sex with their kids.

 

Vanni looked at him for a minute, before giving a quiet, “oh.” He paused, and then, “... so like when I’m in the shower-”

 

“Woah,  _ woah _ ,” Jason held up one hand, “Vanni,  _ Vanni _ . I don’t need to know. If you… if you have questions that’s fine but otherwise, little wing, that’s your business. Just… knocking on doors is important, okay?” Vanni nodded, and Jason reached over, tousled his messy hair, took another sip of his coffee. Dick hadn’t emerged from their bedroom yet, and he wondered if he’d dropped back off to sleep. “Did you want to talk to us about something?”

 

Vanni nodded. Jason took another sip of his coffee, didn’t push, as Vanni leaned his chin up onto his knees. “Dad,” he said- and Jason let himself have a moment of  _ warmth _ over that- “I don’t want to be anything.”

 

Jason quirked up a brow, confused for a minute- before Vanni continued.

 

“A boy  _ or _ a girl. I wasn’t anything before. It didn’t matter.” Vanni squeezed his legs- and Jason figured the words were coming hard,  _ but he was doing well _ . “I know you… want me to be something different,” Vanni paused, arms tightening even more around his legs, as if he  _ wanted _ to go nonverbal, and was fighting the urge. “From what I was. But I’m still  _ me _ .”

 

“I only ever want you to be  _ you _ , baby owl,” Jason said, shifting his coffee to a different hand so he could get an arm around Vanni. “I just want you to be safe and  _ happy _ . And if this is who you feel you are, that’s okay.” Vanni nodded.

 

“Word?” he asked, letting the proper speech slip.

 

“ _ Agender _ ,” Jason said, before he took a sip of his coffee. “When you put an  _ a _ in front of something, it negates it- it makes mean a lack of. So it’s a lack of gender.” Vanni nodded. “Works with other words too, like  _ asexual _ or  _ aromantic _ .” He gave him a squeeze, turned and kissed his temple. “Question time.” Vanni nodded. “Do you want us to stop using  _ he _ or  _ boy _ or anything like that? Because we can. There are gender neutral terms.”

 

Vanni shrugged a little, leaning into Jason. “Don’t care,” he said, glancing up. “For me.” He paused, licked his lips, and then,  _ slowly _ , “This is for me.”

 

And Jason  _ got _ that. It was self discovery and what the world took from it wasn’t the point- it was Vanni, being able to understand another sliver of  _ who he was _ .

 

Jason wasn’t sure he’d ever been so damn  _ proud _ in his life. He pecked his kid’s temple again, just as Dick  _ finally _ emerged into the room, holding his phone.

 

“Vanni,” he said, leaning onto the back of the couch and flashing a grin, “little owl, we’ve got such  _ news _ for you.”

 

*

 

Vanni sat on the back of the couch,  _ watching _ the penthouse door and wringing his hands together. He was swinging his legs, heels bumping the back of the couch to a nervous tempo- one that it seemed both his dads were  _ very _ aware of, from the kitchen.

 

“Kiddo,” Dick said, leaning back from the counter where he was finishing putting his coffee together. “You don’t have to watch the door. She’ll be here any minute.”

 

“And don’t kick a hole in the back of my couch,” Jason added teasingly, lifting his own mug and taking a sip. The moment he did, there was a knock at the door, and Vanni went  _ ridge _ . He gripped the back of the couch, waiting, as Jason appeared- coffee-free- from the kitchen, and headed for the door, opening.

 

For a moment, Vanni couldn’t see past him, even as he leaned, trying to catch a glimpse- heard his dad give a happy,

 

“Hi, You must be Andi. Come on in.” He stepped aside, and Vanni watched a woman step inside, flashing him a very bright smile. “I’m Jason.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Todd.” The door shut, and Jason shook her hand, chuckling.

 

“Please, just Jason. The only one in this family that needs any sort of title is Bruce.” He turned, gestured towards the penthouse- and the woman’s eyes fell right to Vanni, sitting on the back of the couch. She kept her smile, and offered a little wave. “Vanni, come over here little wing.”

 

Vanni hopped off the back of the couch, walking over to stand in front of the woman and look up at her. She wasn’t overly tall or short, and behind her glasses her eyes seemed dark as his, brown instead of blue, only a few shades darker than her skin.

 

“This is Andi,” Jason said, “She’s the woman we told you about, who was going to help you learn.”

 

Vanni said nothing- words feeling a little hard, in his throat, when she lifted her hands, calmly signing,  _ it’s nice to finally meet you _ .

 

Vanni’s eyes went wide and he grinned, before Jason was directing Andi away from him. “Come meet my partner, before you guys get started. Dick- put your breakfast down for two seconds and be  _ polite _ ! Do you want some coffee?”

 

Andi gave a laugh, following Jason into the kitchen, and Vanni stood there feeling like he might burst. Partially because there was someone else who wouldn’t make him speak if he didn’t  _ want _ to-

 

And partially, because his dads had made  _ sure _ of this.

 

*

 

Once introductions were complete, Dick and Jason left them to the kitchen table- after offering that they could work wherever they liked in the penthouse. Andi thought the table might be best, offer less distractions.

 

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Andi said, settling her bag on the table and flipping it open. Vanni watched the movement of her hands- which looked so much smoother than everyone else’s. Her nails were a shockingly  _ bright _ blue, made him think of Tim’s eyes. “It was quite a process, getting this job.” She smiled, and signed,  _ you’ve got a family that really cares about you _ .

 

Vanni nodded.  _ I love them _ . She nodded, and Vanni added,  _ you sign really well _ . He was used to Dick and Jason, who still fumbled- but Andi looked as if she had been doing it all her life.

 

Which, apparently, she almost had. “I was in an accident when I was six,” she said, reaching up and tapping her left ear. Vanni noticed there was  _ something _ clinging to it. “I’m deaf in this ear. Even though I could still hear, it wasn’t  _ great _ , so my parents decided it’d be best to have me learn sign language. There’s something comforting about knowing that I can communicate, even if my voice doesn’t want me to.”

 

Vanni grinned over that, because he could  _ understand _ .

 

“My boyfriend is completely deaf too,” she added, “so it really helped me in the long run. He reads lips very well, but it’s still not fair to expect him to just  _ conform _ to everyone else’s method of communication, when he has a perfectly good one as well.” She folded her hands. “But enough about me. I’m told you haven’t really had any schooling.”

 

Vanni nodded. Not  _ typical _ schooling, he’d realized at least.

 

“The big thing is you can’t read,” Andi said, “and I don’t mean that in any sort of bad way, let’s make that clear. It’s not  _ easy _ , especially if no one is willing to teach you. So.” She unfolded her hands, reaching into her bag and pulling out a large book, one that looked like one of Lian’s activity books. “We’re going to start there. It’ll take time, but once you can write and read at a basic level, we’ll be able to cover other things, as well.”

 

Vanni looked at the book as she flipped it open, at the lines that made big, bold characters on the page.

 

“And the first place to start is the alphabet.”

 

Vanni knitted his hands together in his lap, only nodding. It was… overwhelming,  _ daunting _ , to look at the page and know he had no idea at all what any of those characters were. That this was just another part of the world he didn’t  _ understand _ .

 

His distress must have shown, because Andi settled the book back on the table. “You know, I’ve  _ heard _ about you, but how about  _ you _ tell me a little about you, before we start.”

 

Vanni shrugged a shoulder, lifted his hands and signed,  _ I like plants. I keep flowers in my room _ .

 

_ Flowers are pretty _ .

 

He nodded,  _ And I like _ … he paused, and then said, voice a little shaky, “The Wizard of Oz.”

 

“Oh yeah? Is that why your shoes are red?” Vanni blushed a little, nodded.

 

“I went to a farm in  _ Kansas _ . Just like Dorothy.”

 

“Was that cool?” Another nod.”Did you know that the  _ Wizard of Oz _ was originally a book?” Vanni shook his head, eyes going wide. “It  _ was _ . And you know what- I know this looks like a lot. I know it’s not going to be easy- but I’m going to help you. I promise. And your dads will when I’m not here. And before you know it, you’ll be reading it all on your own.”

 

Vanni sucked on his lip- before he nodded. There was something about the way she spoke, her smile- that made him believe her.

 

And coupled with the fact that he  _ knew _ Dick and Jason would help him with anything, he could admit that maybe it was a possibility. After all, he wasn’t the same kid he’d been, months before- if he could go through the life changes he had in such a short time, and still  _ function _ the way he did- he’d learn how to read a book. If it took him endless nights of study,  _ he’d do it _ .


End file.
